An Open Letter to a High School Senior

Hey there lovely,

Look at you go! You’re a big ol’ senior, the pinnacle of success in the high school world! You’ve worked hard to get to this point, and you’ve grown so much on your journey, but it doesn’t stop here. You have your whole life ahead of you, another stage of life is about to begin. You’re at the beginning of the end, friends, and that shouldn’t scare you. I know, it still does though.

You see, I was you a mere year ago. A senior ready to take on the world, I knew what I wanted and nothing and nobody was about to stop me. I read every buzzfeed article on college life, I toured, I researched, I planned.

But nothing teaches you like experience, so here are all of the things I learned my freshman year of college.

1. Saying goodbye to your family is harder than you thought it would be.

I don’t know why this is such a taboo topic in the realm of preparing teenagers for college, but for some reason no one talks about the transition until you’re holed up in your room, sobbing on the floor, blasting you’ll be in my heart from Tarzan. College is the era of transition, guys. It’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. Saying goodbye to my parents and watching them drive away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and NGL I spent the next few hours in my room with a mental hole in my heart, crying like Taylor Swift when one of her boyfriends broke up with her. It hurts, it’s not fun, and you’re going to want to go home. But, it gets better. I promise.

2. Sometimes making friends takes work.

So I came to college with the fantasy that my roommate and I would instantly become besties, my hallmates and I would have all these inside jokes and I’d have a whole new friend group by day three. That’s not how it worked for me. And that’s okay. My roommate were not by any means besties, my hallmates and I have shared some laughs and will probably have inside jokes by the end of the year, but I wasn't extremely close to any of them until over a month in. Sometimes you have to initiate conversation with your classmates, join a club, go for a walk and say hi to the people you pass. Don’t settle for friends at college, find some people that you really mesh with.

3. You have to be an adult.

Yeah, I know, that should be a no brainer, but for some reason it wasn’t for me. I mean, knew I’d have to do my own laundry, and make sure I ate a vegetable every once in awhile, but I had no idea the amount of freedom in store for me. When I want to go off campus, I can just… go. When I want to eat a whole pint of ice cream there is nothing stopping me. When I mess up an assignment it’s on me to make sure I talk to someone to get it fixed. I came in with the illusion that my RA would act as my parent to make sure I got my stuff done, that I was eating healthy and advise me against unwise decisions. And while I have a fabulous RA that I love dearly, that isn’t her job. Her job is to make sure I’m following the rules of the college, not to hold my hand through every choice I make. I have to be an adult and make those adult decisions and really think about the implications. It’s true when they say freedom isn’t really free.

4. You may not get along with your roommate

This was probably the hardest thing for me to learn coming to college. I was completely prepared for my roommate and I to be the best of friends and we were going to do everything together and every night would be like a sleepover.

That is not what happened.

In fact, my roommate moved out of our room my third week of school because of personal differences.

And it took me a (very very very) long time to realize that’s okay. Not everyone is friends with their roommate. Yes, there will be those matches made in heaven where they are best friends and do everything together, but there are also a ton of people who share a space with their roommate and that’s it. If you and your roommate are friends that’s awesome, but if not, there is nothing wrong with you or even your roommate necessarily. Those surveys you fill out only tell you so much about the other person, sometimes it just doesn't work out.

5. It's okay to not be okay 

You have just done one of the craziest things anyone can do. Move from a life built for you to complete independence, most likely several hours away from anything normal. You're going to be overwhelmed. You're going to want to go home. You're probably going to cry. That's okay. It's going to seem like you're the only one miserable, and everyone else is adjusting beautifully and having a great time, but chances are they're just as miserable as you. It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to tell someone you're not okay. In all honesty talking to someone about not being okay may make you more okay. 
It's not going to be smooth sailing just because you moved in, and that's normal. Take the time you need to be okay, because I promise it'll come.

6. You will notice yourself changing 

One of the scariest things I realized come Christmas break was I wasn't the same person I was when I left home in August. That's okay, you have just moved from most things you do being closely monitored to complete freedom, from your life laid out in front of you to having to build it yourself. You're going to grow and change into the new position that you have been given. Don't be afraid of the change, just evaluate the change and make sure that's the direction you want to go. 

So there you have it. All (read: the important) things I learned from actually going to college. I hope this helps you pursue your college journey, and gets you even more excited for the new adventures that are coming.

I'm praying for you!

Love,

Libby