I'm the oldest of seven in my house. That means I had a lot of responsibility very young, and I took it willingly. I've always been my siblings second mom, and my mom's right hand woman. I've always been "practically in charge" and knew more about our family's schedule than the planner.
I've always been okay.
But, there became a time when I wasn't okay. At all. And all I did about it was I hid the fact that I was very much not okay. To my stressed out heart it seemed easier to hide the problem than face the fact that the perfect child I so longed to be, the steady hand I'd worked so hard to become could fall around me.
This did nothing to fix the problem, if anything, it made the problem worse.
Ladies, you don't have to be perfect. You are not capable of being perfect. Don't expect a standard from yourself that isn't attainable.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's okay if you aren't okay.
It's taken me eighteen years to realize this, and to be honest I'm still not sure if I completely understand it. Wanting to be perfect is so engrained in my persona it seems wrong that I cannot reach the standard of perfection I want so badly to reach. But doing that, I dug myself into a hole because the fact of the matter is I am not perfect, as much as I'd like to believe I am. I cannot reach this unattainable standard of perfection that I've taught myself to try and reach.
The same goes for you. You cannot be perfect, and while that sounds like such a negative thing, think of how freeing it actually is. You can't reach a standard that you aren't capable of reaching!
When I came to college one of the first things that they told us was that chances are that most of you won't get A's your entire college career. It's practically impossible for every one of you achieve in the same way that you did in high school. This statement was shocking to me. I came to college fully intending on keeping up a 4.0 GPA my entire college career, and I still plan on that being the case. But to some people around me, those words were freeing. Those words told them up front it's okay if you don't maintain the same standard of perfection that you achieved once. Don't stress over a B- you may not have gotten in high school. It's okay.
Please know lovelies, it is okay to not be okay. You are allowed to fall apart, and perfection is overrated. If you need help with something, please please find someone to talk to. Whether that be your mom, a friend, mentor, pastor, or even the school counselor, please talk it out. Don't keep it bottled up inside if you're struggling, because believe me, that makes it waaaaaay worse. I know it seems so awkward and vulnerable, but if this person is someone worth your time, they won't think less of you because of it. Everyone has rough patches, sometimes we need some help to fix them up.
In the end, please don't try to maintain a standard of perfection that is going to hurt you in the long run, please know it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to seek help from someone.
I've always been okay.
But, there became a time when I wasn't okay. At all. And all I did about it was I hid the fact that I was very much not okay. To my stressed out heart it seemed easier to hide the problem than face the fact that the perfect child I so longed to be, the steady hand I'd worked so hard to become could fall around me.
This did nothing to fix the problem, if anything, it made the problem worse.
Ladies, you don't have to be perfect. You are not capable of being perfect. Don't expect a standard from yourself that isn't attainable.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's okay if you aren't okay.
It's taken me eighteen years to realize this, and to be honest I'm still not sure if I completely understand it. Wanting to be perfect is so engrained in my persona it seems wrong that I cannot reach the standard of perfection I want so badly to reach. But doing that, I dug myself into a hole because the fact of the matter is I am not perfect, as much as I'd like to believe I am. I cannot reach this unattainable standard of perfection that I've taught myself to try and reach.
The same goes for you. You cannot be perfect, and while that sounds like such a negative thing, think of how freeing it actually is. You can't reach a standard that you aren't capable of reaching!
When I came to college one of the first things that they told us was that chances are that most of you won't get A's your entire college career. It's practically impossible for every one of you achieve in the same way that you did in high school. This statement was shocking to me. I came to college fully intending on keeping up a 4.0 GPA my entire college career, and I still plan on that being the case. But to some people around me, those words were freeing. Those words told them up front it's okay if you don't maintain the same standard of perfection that you achieved once. Don't stress over a B- you may not have gotten in high school. It's okay.
Please know lovelies, it is okay to not be okay. You are allowed to fall apart, and perfection is overrated. If you need help with something, please please find someone to talk to. Whether that be your mom, a friend, mentor, pastor, or even the school counselor, please talk it out. Don't keep it bottled up inside if you're struggling, because believe me, that makes it waaaaaay worse. I know it seems so awkward and vulnerable, but if this person is someone worth your time, they won't think less of you because of it. Everyone has rough patches, sometimes we need some help to fix them up.
In the end, please don't try to maintain a standard of perfection that is going to hurt you in the long run, please know it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to seek help from someone.
Trust joy, Lovelies,
Libby
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