Write Your Own Love Notes

Love Notes 

So I have these notes on my mirror

They’re really just index cards I brought back to life with a sharpie marker

But they’re my notes to me

When I was a little girl I loved the idea that the man I would marry would write me love notes, telling me things he loves about me

Well either that man doesn’t exist or he’s very good at playing hide and go seek because he hasn’t appeared yet.

So I wasn’t getting any notes

There wasn’t a note for that one time that I was crying so hard I thought I would throw up, or that time I felt so lonely I didn’t want people to exist anymore. There wasn’t a note when I stared in the mirror and hated the reflection that stared back at me.

So I waited.

I waited for those notes, for that boy, for someone to tell me I was beautiful, that I was worth living for.

That boy hasn’t shown up yet.

Then I opened this book by these people, and I began to read. There were my notes, addressed to me, bound together between the flowered covers of my Bible, and tattered wishes in my heart.

There were notes telling me I was wanted, beautiful, thought out, and worthy of a king’s death.

These were the kind of love notes I wanted.

That I needed

I keep my love notes on my shelf, I pull them out when I need them.

I still had to face the reflection though. That imprint of all the things I’ve been taught to hate about me, the ghosts of lies past telling me I’m not good enough, the shadow of the doubt society instilled in me in order for me to try and attain the unattainable standard of beauty.

But my notes were on my shelf.

And that boy hasn’t shown up yet.

And I couldn’t wait any longer.

So I began to write.

I began to tell myself words to heal the hurt, unbreak the broken, to point out the amazing design.

I began to tell myself words that were like etchings of wisps of a dream of something I wanted to hear

I began to write Truth.

Because I was there when I cried so hard I thought I was going to throw up

I was there that day I felt so lonely I didn’t want people to exist anymore.

I was there every single freaking time that reflection sent me taunts of lies that I now refuse to believe.

And I was the one that was there when I had to pick myself back up.

So I have these notes around my mirror

Really they’re just index cards brought back to life with a sharpie marker.

But really, they brought me back to life.

They surround my reflection, enclosing it in light, keeping the lies to a shadow of a memory on her lips.

Those are the notes I wrote to me.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to marry a man who wrote me love notes.

Well that man is currently winning hide and go seek, and doesn’t have time to write during the game.

So I write letters to me too, and I put them on my mirror.

And they are my love notes. To me I wrote this poem earlier this school year out of sheer desperation and loneliness, because I was the only one making sure I was okay, and I wasn't okay with that. You see, Love Notes is about more than just body positivity for me, it's more about learning that it's okay for me to empower myself. You know, sometimes I think we have a skewed idea about what we're supposed to be as Christians, especially young Christian women. For a long time growing up, I believed it wasn't okay for me to think I had good attributes. I thought acknowledging the fact that I could do something well or thought I was pretty automatically made me prideful, and girls, please know this is not true. You are allowed to love yourself. You are allowed to look at yourself and call yourself good. It is not prideful to like yourself. This took me so long to learn, but it is okay to think you're pretty, or smart, or good at soccer. It is not arrogant to think that you are worthy of loved and you should be treated with respect. It's okay to not hate your body! Actually, that needs to be in all caps. IT IS OKAY TO NOT HATE YOUR BODY!!! Our culture has taken the approach that in order to maintain the same mindset as the rest of society we have to hate our bodies. In the age of women empowerment it seems like its almost glorified for girls to hate their bodies. I had honestly never thought negatively about my body until I started reading books where the characters did, and that's not a bad thing. God made our bodies for us, and He picked out every detail before we were born. We were handcrafted, and specially made. Don't let that get lost on you! Now of course, there is a way to take it too far, and we shouldn't glorify ourselves with our talents or empowerment. 1 Corinthians 1:31 says "For as it is written, "let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord" We were made to glorify God, and we shouldn't forget that, but please, realize that glorifying God doesn't mean hating yourself! Also, I really do have notes taped to my mirror, and it's my favorite part of my dorm room. Every time I see a quote on Pinterest or a Bible verse I love, it ends up around my mirror. I highly recommend this. Even if it's just a post it note taped in your bathroom, please don't be afraid to write yourself notes of encouragement if you need them! Even if they're only a couple words, you may need to hear them in the future. Or maybe even right now. Keep on keeping on, Lovelies, God has big plans for you.